2008 Photo Book

http://community.shutterfly.com/gallery/post/start.sfly?postId=/gallery/1/post/GMGDBg1YtGLhyxcgShQKCg

Grateful Graphics Open House

A few weeks ago we went to the Rex Foundation Gala, what I would call the non-profit arm of the Grateful Dead.

There we met JB who invited us to his open house at the Grateful Graphics Warehouse.

I took some time off work and off we went. When we got there a few Deadheads were gathering and JB told us to make ourselves at home, and feel free to help ourselves to the "seconds" in the stacks around the room. MonkeyBoy got to pick out the fabulous hoodie below. And I got a few Dancing Bear Peace Symbol Buttons to share with my friends, could anything make me happier than that?Johnathan spoke about the beginnings of Grateful Graphics.

As the 40th anniversary of the Summer of Love has passed, I am reminded of the day 23 years ago when I first premiered the Dancing Bears and Grateful Graphics. In the overflowing parking lot outside the Hampton Coliseum, I sold my first hand-painted Row of Dancing Bears shirt changing the world of Grateful Dead merchandising and beginning a cultural revolution within our community that allowed Deadheads to show their love and devotion for the band in a gentler, more loving way. I believe the introduction of the Dancing Bear to mainstream GD iconography was much like the Summer of Love. In the words of Fraser Clark, editor of the Encyclopedia Psychedelica, the summer of 1967 was a "new fractal of social change which was to massively influence events for years to come." The Dancing Bears did just that as they evoked the lighter, happier side of the scene. With the Dancing Bears came the acceptance of "showing one's colors" outside of the concert experience by folks from all walks of life. And now, the journey continues with our latest catalogue of Grateful Graphics goodies. I invite you to grab some daisies, go barefoot, tune in and turn on. Here's to the joy the Grateful Dead has brought to all of us, each and every day...

Of course Johnathan is now a Burner so we felt right at home.

Then JB took the floor and talked about how the business of Grateful Graphics worked now, and my favorite part, that the inspiration for the Dancing Bear Peace Symbol, was the Peace Symbol's 50th anniversary, April 4, 2008. April 4 is JB birthday, his Dad's birthday and guess what, the MonkeyBoy's birthday. So Peace and love all in one package.

Then for the 2nd part of our big adventure, we went to the silkscreening factory where the Grateful Graphics products are printed. Ya gotta know that I LOVED seeing the big silkscreening machines and folder and digital silkscreening and when I thought about my little Gocco Silkscreening DIY machine I had to laugh. Then off to lunch at the Conneticut Yankee.

I had such a good time. I loved hearing about how the business got started, getting to know JB and seeing the warehouse, and the peace buttons, and the silkscreening factory, and lunch with a bunch of deadheads. What could be more fun than that?

What a fabulous adventure. Thanks JB and thanks Freddy for introducing us to the cool people at your table at the Rex Foundation Gala!

Prior Post:

http://affinity1.blogspot.com/2008/12/rex-foundation-25th-anniversary.html

graphics & photo of Johnathan, JB & Jodi from Grateful Graphics

Rex Foundation 25th Anniversary

affinity, MonkeyBoy and Wavy Gravy

Helvetica and PlayaQuest aka Will Chase

Michael Michael, Dusty and Freddy aka Dr. Really

We had a great time at the Rex Foundation's 25th Anniversary Gala. We got to sit with Freddy and Helvetica, and their friends, get our photo taken with Wavy Gravy and listen to some great music. What a great day, SantaCon and the Gala.

San Francisco Santacon 2008

top photo: PocketSandNinja

bottom photo: Sandwich Girl

SANTARCHY 2008

Santa band at Hooters - Santarchy 2007

affinity hanging in the GOcar toward the end of the rampage

MonkeyBoy and affinity at the Burning Man Holiday Party 2008 (thanks Moze)

Okay, we are going to take the Klassic Kringle route this Saturday:

Klassic Kringle—Santa hits Fisherman’s Wharf and other favorite hotspots (that will still have us). Suggested props: Signs (Elfcare for Everyone, Santas Demand More milk & Cookies, etc.) Celebrate Santa’s many corporate friends & partners by displaying your favorite sponsor on your suit.

http://sanfranciscosantarchy.wordpress.com/

1,000 Origami Cranes

Today on one of my favorite blogs http://sfciviccenter.blogspot.com/ , Mike tells the story of the reception last night and the tree in City Hall decorated with Origami cranes, called the Tree of Hope.

He posts the story of the cranes:

As the Rainbow World Fund's website describes it:
Why the origami crane?
This project draws inspiration from a little girl who lived and died nearly half a century ago. Sadako Sasaki was two when the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima. Several years later, suffering from leukemia, Sadako learned of a legend that would grant one wish to the folders of 1,000 cranes. Her wish was for peace. She started folding but died 356 cranes short of her goal. Her classmates folded the rest in her honor and all 1,000 were buried with her. From that moment, when the world learned of her courageous story, the crane became a symbol of world peace.

And that made me reminisce a little...When I moved to San Francisco I had never taken really taken buses much, being from Palm Springs. The bus driver here in San Francisco on the 41 was a long hair freak and he made origami cranes and hung them in the window of the bus. You were welcome to take one if you wished to and he would tell you the story of the 1,000 cranes. I knew then I was in the right town, on my way to my straight job in the financial district, with the hippie bus driver on the way. He was the driver for several years and made a difference in the start of many days.

photo stolen from http://sfciviccenter.blogspot.com/

my religion is kindness..the Dalai Lama

most years I have had a mantra....one year it was "truly loving yourself is making sure that the thoughts inside your head are good to you...another year it was "a joyful spirit is a reflection of a grateful heart....

2009, here we come

My religion is kindness

Great birthday doin's. Brunch with my exercise buddies, dinner with the neighbors and their kids, lunch with my good friend Laura, and the next day, Nancy, and today a little shingding for our old school crowd that MonkeyBoy as know forever at Stage Werx, with a few special add ons.

FUN

Tomorrow, back to the real world

My Burn 2006 (Posted in 2006)

Well, my Burning Man was uneventful this year....I mainly visited with friends, worked a couple of shifts at the volunteer booth, loved my sweetie to the best of my ability.

One of the highlights was getting to see Armadillo and Edge in the Catholic Schoolgirls/vampires....play at Center Camp, although I was having a meltdown.

Camping with Cafe Village was very sweet, they were very kind to us. I saw Moze just a couple of hours before he went to Reno and had his heart attack. I am very grateful he is okay. Eggchair and Jewel and Benny and MonkeyBoy and Sowelu went up in airplanes, very cool..... I may not go to Burning Man next year. MonkeyBoy can manage on his own and it is really too much work for just Community..... Maybe I will feel differently in a few months, going to wait until after the holidays to see how I feel. Sorry this is so boring.....

Comments

shekky
Sat, September 16, 2006 - 9:46 AM
i'm sorry i didn't get to see you on the playa this time, affinity. i rode by on friday just a few hours after they had taken moze away and was afraid to come back for fear of very bad news. decompression in october?

Moze
Sat, September 16, 2006 - 11:19 AM
Iwas great seeing you darlin. We have those burns where nothing seems as exciting, huh? I wasn't exactly sure what a lot of things like the pavlillion were all about. blah blah. But our camp was fun and the bunny march was great. Maybe Mexico next August Great picture by the way.

Moze
Sat, September 16, 2006 - 11:20 AM
I meant, It was great seeing you..... not Iwas. hmmmm, weird....

**Elecktra...
Sat, September 16, 2006 - 5:58 PM
OK DARLING..... HOW dare yu say UNEVENTFUL! Wasnt hanging out near playainfo EVENTFUL enough??????? hehehehhe!! thanks again for the gloves! YOU ROCK!! Elecktra

Juicy...
Sat, September 16, 2006 - 10:21 PM
Please don't apologize for your experience! You own whatever happened... and trust me... we *all* had our own meltdowns... :-) I'm so happy for the time we got to spend together out there... Limited as it was, I cherish it. Thank you! And, if you make it or not next year... no matter. You will do what's right for you. Much juicy love to you and Monkey Boy. See you at Decom and we'll share more good stuff! xoxoxoxo

Armadillo...
Sun, September 17, 2006 - 4:45 PM
Thanks for coming out to see me in the musical, even tho' you having a meltdown. It was great hearing your voice in the Lounge and hanging out with you that morning (afternoon?). I, too, at this point, will not be back next year. Time to move on, in all aspects of my life. But who knows....it's always possible that next year, both of us will be hanging out together in the Lounge, chatting with Stardust.... (love the photo!)

glynda
Mon, September 18, 2006 - 7:07 PM
good idea...Every year, I revisit the question... "Will I go again next year?" I think it's a good question, regardless of the answer... I'm asking that question myself, more seriously than ever after this past year... You were a shiny happy part of my burn & I'm glad that you were in the village & I knew how to find you!

affinity...
Mon, September 18, 2006 - 8:10 PM
Interesting Responses! Each of you who that I saw and responed to my post are a bright star in my burning sky (sorry I missed you Shekky) Armadillo: Seeing you on stage was great fun and I loved visiting with you and Stardust in your camp, thanks for getting up, I always enjoy your company. I am loving getting to know you better and I hope it will continue

Witchy: I loved camping with you, you are a sweetie and the extra water bottles made a HUGE difference in my year Juicy: I loved hearing your news that you and Steve 23 are going to make a deeper commitment, you are both a delight whenever I see you Moze: you are ALWAYS a bright star when I see you, you radiate acceptance and joy and love for all the bunnies and their friends. Electra: It was fun sharing "work" space with you and I loved giving you the gloves far more than you enjoyed getting them Thanks to each of you for making my burn more intimate and joyful....

*Alibaba
Wed, September 27, 2006 - 12:43 AM
It was so great hanging out with you a bit at Playa Info! One of my favorite memories from PI this year is talking with you and Rooster, and him having you repeat your question so that he could spit his coffee out in response! Too funny! ;D My year wasn't super eventful, but I loved it. ;P *hugs*!!! DeCom fo' sho'

and we met in Reno! (Published in 2006)

So every year I have suggested that we meet in Reno for a little R&R and connection. So we stayed at the Peppermill, had an amazing anniversary dinner, 13 years together on August 22 and 5 years married on August 29.... and then snuggled and slept, snuggled and slept. MonkeyBoy slept in until 8am. It sounds like the Cafe is coming along really well and will be ready for all of us when we get there.
Mon, August 21, 2006 - 10:29 PM

COMMENTS

DIVA...
Mon, August 21, 2006 - 10:32 PM
Awe! That sounds just wonderful! Happy Anniversary!!!! Lots and Lots of X's and Os!

Lying Bare...
Tue, August 22, 2006 - 12:05 AM
Happy Anniversary.. and many many more snuggles and cuddles same time next year.... or as often as ya wish.... Bare

Armadillo...
Tue, August 22, 2006 - 5:37 AM
Can't wait to see the two of you!

Jenni
Tue, August 22, 2006 - 8:16 AM
yay snuggling!happy anniversary!

HunnyB
Tue, August 22, 2006 - 9:31 AM
Awwwh!! Happy Anniversary to you two ! Have a fabulous burn Affinity !

My TV Won't work and I am an addict! (Posted in 2006)

So my TV would not go on when I came home last night. That has happened before and MonkeyBoy gets out the manual and I press something on the remote while he holds down the power key on the TV. MonkeyBoy is on the Playa, I will see him in Reno on Friday but I doubt he will be able to solve this long distance so I should buck up and solve the problem.
I love my TV and I watch a lot of it which is good for my aching neck. TV is a 64 inch tube (stupid choice) less than a year up because we blew all of our electrical appliances in the fall of '05, between the prostate surgery and the hernia surgery. So I try a couple of things last night, I push this, I push that, no luck. Sony is closed for the night. I go on line and find a users manual that is similar to mine, try what they suggest, no luck. Okay, catch up on email and go to bed. Wake up this morning, call Sony, they need the model number which is on the back of this fucking 80 pound tv that is on a shelf at shoulder height....have I tried unplugging it and plugging it back in... Can't help without a model number..I say "can't you just tell me the standard trick for geting these reset....No, we need the model number, you just don't understand, and the supervisor will not talk to me without a model number. So I hang up and take a 2nd look for the manual, Get out every manual, for the refrigerator we don't have any more, etc. And then I move the dressers over the rug and get to the plug, and unplug and plug it back in.
YIPEE!! YIPEE!! YIPEE!! It is making TV noises and there it is, the picture. I AM SO HAPPY.

"The sign of wisdom is a continual cheerfulness" Sometimes a difficult standard to live to....


COMMENTS

Wed, August 16, 2006 - 10:38 AM
ARMADILLO
What do you do on th ePlaya without TV for a week? Do you go through withdrawals? You're a persistent little TV junkie, aren't you! I would have given up!


affinity
Wed, August 16, 2006 - 11:37 AM
Armadillo!I don't miss TV on the Playa because thge Playa is so engaging, but I would miss it over the next 10 days and then when I got back, This from a girl who did not own a tv for years....

shekky
Wed, August 16, 2006 - 6:10 PM
the view from affinity's camp is far better than any TV one could imagine!


Juicy...
Thu, August 17, 2006 - 3:08 AM
That is *awesome* that you made it go! I was racking my brain thinking who could fix it as I was reading... LOL! Can't wait to see you on the playa... Where is this camp I hear of with the fabulous view? Me and Mr. 23 will be at 4:00 and Esplanade with Illumination Village. :-) Who knows, tho... maybe we'll run into you and Monkey Boy in Reno on Friday... We'll be stopping by a gun shop, TJ's, and visiting steve's great uncle felix, among other things. See you out there!

affinity...
Thu, August 17, 2006 - 7:02 AM
Coffetown/Cafe VillageWe are not with the bunnies this year, we will be at Coffetown at 5:35 and Chance. Hope to see you there.

MonkeyBoy Leaving for the Desert Today (Posted in 2006)

MonkeyBoy is leaving for the desert this am, in just a couple of hours.
Thu, August 3, 2006 - 6:37 AM

OKAY!!! We are having fun Again (posted in 2006)

Starting with Fire Arts, I was still tired, but I got to see Steve23 and Juicy (still thinking about you every day), a little short visit with Alibaba at PlayaInfo, an hello to Francis behind the bar, hey to our friend Carl and his Cousin with the cat, lots of time with the Other Robin who I am loving getting to know, some time with LadyBee, Curtis and his girlfriend, Rob and Sunset with a hello to Terry and Harley, Jewel was there, so a very social event, GREAT fire art.

Then, a very quiet weekend, meeting with the potential buyers and I can't remember anything else but quiet and rain. Then this week MUCH better at work, My boss being very positive about my staying, Saw Art School Confidential, another meeting with the potential buyers and the other co-tenants, went well, one of my friends fussed at me about being up tight and I said, YOU ARE RIGHT!!! Time to stop worrying and just let it be...bar-B-QUE Sat. Party Sunday at Marie's had a great time, lost my cell phone,,,,no worries... some fabulous MonkeyBoy and Affinity time on Sunday morning...and a little bar-B-Q in our back yard on yesterday, such a beautiful day, with our fav neighbor and Burner Jane. Life is good.....Both MonkeyBoy and I are feeling much better, almost no coughing...and ...a short week. ahead!!!! How sweet is that!!

Comments
steve23
Tue, May 30, 2006 - 11:32 AM
Look at that smile!I'm so glad to hear you and MonkeyBoy are doing well. Are you ready for another weekend of burning fun? On Friday evening the Flaming Lotus Girls are throwing a fundraiser at the Cracktory and then the Pre-Compression party on Satyrday night at the Pound. I hope to see you there - we'll be setting up a table to talk about the upcoming installation of the Passage in SF.

Lying Bare...
Tue, May 30, 2006 - 2:13 PM
YEAH!!! YOU time... it's soooooo special... not to mention important..... I wanted to be at Fire Arts... but alas we were hiking the Montana Wilderness... not that I mind,,, but there are times I wish there were 2 of me so I could do all the things I want... just dont think the world is ready for 2 of me though... glad to hear things are good..... HUGS!!! Bare

MonkeyBoy is doing great

As most of you know MonkeyBoy had prostate cancer in 2006 and had surgery to remove the prostate. This spring we went through 2 different rounds of unclear information from his Doctors office about his most recent follow up test, the PSA. MonkeyBoy went to the Doc last week for his 3 year check up and the result was perfect. Almost a flat reading, perfectly normal.

We had always assumed that the surgery had taken care of the cancer so when this unclear test result showed up in the spring, it was unsettling. We are thrilled to be back on the track of our belief that the cancer is gone and all is well.

China, the next economic empire?

This chart of the Dow Jones is from 2007 and it has rebounded from that low, but will it ever rebound from the losses of the recent past. I am a financial pessimist. I think America has peaked and we are not ever going to fully recover from this economic diaster. I believe the Empire status we have maintained for the last 60 years is moving toward China.

So what does that mean. It means that people like me who were poor with lousy parents won't be able to go to law school, it will be difficult to rise above your station, as it already is in most countries. Try coming from the wrong side of the tracks in Mexico or India or even Great Britan and raising your economic status, very difficult.

I worked for a varies of financial firms for over 10 years and have a lot of comfort about my understanding of how the financial markets work. SO...in the industry the first thing you learn about marketing stocks, etc. is "Past performance is not an indicator of future performance." Look around, it is like the nutritional information that is now required, the "Past Performance" language is EVERYWHERE...statements, prospectuses, ads in magazines and newspapers.

So when someone tells you, "oh it will get better, or the market has ALWAYS".... they don't know the answer, the experts do not know, the stock brokers do not know, just because someone tells you that you have enough $ to survive until retirement...THEY DO NOT KNOW IF THAT IS TRUE...just because it would have been true in the past, does not make it true for the future.

So what do we do about it. So every day for the last 2 weeks MonkeyBoy and I have talked about how we have our retirement $ invested (I am turning 60 this month). Should we sell anything, should we invest differently, should we sell everything at take the cash and put it under the mattress.

The problem with that solution is that if the $ continues to decline then your stash of money declines. What will it cost to buy a loaf of bread in 10 years (I am not so worried about 20 years from now, I don't expect to be alive at 80).

So I had some money in an IRA that was in cash, that is of course crazy, because if you decide you need cash your IRA is the last thing you want to sell from becasue you have to pay taxes on it, but oh well.

So today we invested some of my money in a Chinese Mutual fund. Probably not a good time right after the Olympics and China having been in the spotlight all summer, but since I believe that China is an up and coming country it seemed like the correct decision.

I have had these beliefs for over 5 years and they have not changed. I of course hope I am wrong.

That is all

Jose

In the early 80s I hung out at a little cafe across the street from where I lived on Hyde Street in San Francisco. Since I was in law school and worked full time it was perfect. I could have company at my convenience without having to make a commitment for the evening, and study if so inclined. I had a boyfriend and he was not much on cafe society so it was really "my" home.

Then a new cafe opened in the neighborhood, Cafe Cine Monde. My friends and I wanted to be loyal to our old cafe, but it was Sunday night and our usual was closed. So we went for the first time. So it started, the usual cafe in the morning and Cafe Cine Monde at night, where they showed films, "what's not to love?" My friends and I had a table, we saw that there were regulars but we did not interact with each other.

Then a burglar was in my friend Jane's apartment, when she came running down the hill to Cine Monde, Peter, coke bottle in his hand (a New Jersey transplant) ran up the hill to chase the burglar, who was of course long gone. But that was the first interactions between the grownups and us under 30s. From that day forward Cine Monde was THE place.

We hung out, became friends, had parties, spent holidays together, occasionaly went to premieres (Jose the owner was a film critic), but mainly just hung at the the Cafe, and if it closed in my very tiny apartment. Since it was before cell phones I even got phone calls there. They were my neighborhood family for the next 5 years at least. The owners, the customers, the waitresses, I have never experienced anything like it. It was our Cheers, where everybody knew your name. I was a magical time in my life.

The photo above is us going river rafting, I don't even know how that happened, and the other photo is of my friend Jose and I on that day.

People came and went from the neighborhood, both the cafe's closed and I have never known my neighbors in the same way. 15 years ago I moved around the corner, across the street from where Jose lived and have seen him now and then thru the years, but we were never close after that time, a drink now and then...

Jose died this month. Thanks Jose for being the nexus of a group of people as diverse as we all were and creating a community.

Here is something our friend Dawn wrote this week about Jose.

My Friend Jose
September 21, 2008


SHARE – that’s a key word when I think about Jose.

From the time I met Jose, while working as a waitress at his Café Cine Monde back in the early 80’s, to our ebay venture selling films and beyond, Jose has always shared his love of food, wine, films and friends.

At Café Cine Monde, Jose created a wonderful gathering place, to hang out, watch and talk about movies with interesting people, some of whom were in the business. There were many colorful characters who frequented the Café, and Jose welcomed any and all to be a part of the “Café Family”.

Café Cine Monde was a place where a group of friends would often stay well past closing to view rare or off-the-beaten path films, good wine and Mama Rose’s wonderful Filipino cuisine. Into the wee hours, Jose would share these films along with some good stories. Lively wine-fueled film discussions would often ensue! What fun we had!

At the Café, I made many friends, several of whom I still have more than 25 years later. The walls of my home are covered with the exquisite art of movie posters I obtained from Jose. Thanks to Jose, my knowledge of not only film, but food and wine expanded, and I credit him with paving the way for me becoming a professional fine-dining chef years later.

Jose always had wild true stories to share, that often bordered on Ripley’s Believe-It-Or-Not. Last year he told me a long twisty story about some shoes and a belt he once had made in London. He said they were very expensive because the leather for those items, came from a centuries-old sunken ship off the coast, that could only be reached by free-diving. AND, the one family that did the diving, retired. Well I believed him, but I laughed so hard when he told me, I was blinded by the tears that streamed from my eyes.

Jose shared his sense of culinary adventure, inviting friends to join him for unusual dining experiences. I remember our excursion to a restaurant in Marin County that served exotic fare, such as lion and giraffe. I also remember our group feeling sorry for the poor exotic beasts that sacrificed their lives, only to end up in a mediocre
dish.

We had a plan in October to meet for dinner in Boston, on his way from Maine to San Francisco, as we have done every year – dinner on his way to Maine in the spring and from Maine in the fall. We’d always try to go to the most unique or cutting edge restaurant we could find. Jose would order up many dishes to share, just for the experience of trying new or different food preparations.

Jose was generous to a fault, so much so, that he was taken advantage of a few times, but it didn’t change him. He continued to be a warm, open, trusting person.

I feel so lucky and honored that Jose Carpio, an amazing person, shared his friendship with me.

I miss Jose so very much!

Dawn

Separated at birth

Does this look like us?? Oh my God.....looks like it to me...but we don't have a dog. Caught in a time warp again.

Painted Ceiling

My ceiling in the living room and dining room had a ring around the base of the light fixture that could not be cleaned. So Brook & Elise came and painted the ceilings and painted that ugly yellow right out of the kitchen, I can still smell the paint a little and it makes my nose run, what a baby.

They did a GREAT job, I could trust them, they were fun, and they both have a great eye and work hard. How great is that....

So I am no longer embarassed by my ceiling, maybe that will move along some other "well since we are going to move shortly" projects, since it does not look like we are going to move anytime soon....

ok, I am going to go to bed now, and hope to go to sleep.

my weight - the elephant in the closet (April 2008)

I think one of the "elephants in the room" in my life in my weight and my health.

I think people want to know more but are afraid to ask. I am glad they feel that way because the conversation, if raised, rarely goes well.

So here is what I think you might actually want to know:

AS A BABY I was premature and weighed 3 1/2 pounds, I was very sick and frail as a child, epilepsy, asthma, pneumonia, etc. Both my parents smoked heavily and in fact died from cigarettes.

MY WEIGHT At around 12 I developed a HUGE appetite and became overweght, from skinny to overweight in 2 years. From age 13 until about 35 I dieted, binged, fasted, took courses and therapy in listening to my hunger, anything I could think of, I continued to put on weight. Then I decided I was going to be happy however I was, and I still put on weight. According to my doctor's records, in 1990, 18 years ago, I weighed 284 pounds, this is the most I have ever weighed. Today I weigh 272 pounds.

EXERCISE I have exercised off and on all my life, I used to swim as a kid (Palm Springs, everybody swims). Stopped exercising in my early 20s. Then in 1984 or so after law school I became enamored with aerobics, even trained to teach aerobics for large women in about 1990 or so...I exercised 2 - 4 times a week, it varied...Posed for a leotard ad for large women, went to an aerobics conference with my teacher, was on tv 4 or 5 times dancing with my teacher and a couple of other people. Was always the "fit" big girl and proud of it. In 2001, my knees started giving me problems and then a couple of years later my hips started to hurt after walking more than 2 or 3 blocks, I have less stamina. I have exercised less since 2001. I still go to the gym most saturdays, 30 minutes on the bike and workout with the fat girls. I know if I did more it would help, but I seem to be unwilling to make it happen in my life.

MY HEALTH Until a few years ago I was VERY healthy. Great heart, no problems except mobility and then about 18 months ago I had some symptoms that looked like diabetes. I was not surprised because of my weight, age and body type (barrel shape) I am a good candidate for diabetes and other problems. After some tests, I have struggled the last 18 months with pre-diabetes. I have lost about 10 pounds, eat far fewer carbs and more protein and vegetables. I still have a sweet tooth and desserts are my favorite, but I try to be conscious of what I eat. Today the doctor called and I have pushed back my pre-diabetes for the time being. All my tests are normal. I am pleased and he is pleased.

MY LIFE So, yes, I know I am fat, I have lost and gained lots of weight in my life, I am no longer doing that. I try to be friendly with food so it is not a struggle all the time, but it is my biggest foible. I do not know how to lose and keep off weight. The success rate is about 3% after 5 years. So, if you are concerned about my weight or my health, know that I too am concerned and doing all that I can to be healthy, but I will continue to be a human being that is good at some things and bad at others.
Thu, April 10, 2008 - 8:34 PM

10 Comments

Sunburn
Thu, April 10, 2008 - 9:56 PM
you know, I've not thought about your weight... my mom was big, my brother big, and I'm no skinny girl. I've just really liked you for who you are... and next time I see you, we will just split a carrot drink.. hugs to you cuitie!

Captain Paula...
Thu, April 10, 2008 - 10:59 PM
I'm mostly just happy that you are a part of this wonderful group, and i know that struggles with weight can be life long and torturous. It sounds like you've made some peace. I Hugs

Lying Bare..
Thu, April 10, 2008 - 11:54 PM
I love and admire and respect your candor, and just want to say, I think you are beautiful, I have a personal issue with my lack of teeth, and people want to know but never ask... sometimes that's good for my ego if they don't and other times I wish they would just ask what they want to know and get it over with, but maybe thats just me and really not them, I never really know.... in any case, sometimes, I think we are just meant to be a specific way, and if you are feeling well and are healthy, and comfortable, then why stress on it... I have heard that with stress hormones coursing thru your veins it actually keeps the weight on... so, if ya can reduce the stress aspect of it, ya may lose what ya wish without even having to give it much thought..... but no matter what, YOU are still you, and loved dearly for that fact, and I hope ya have an extra hug available when i see ya next time..... Bare

jenn...
Fri, April 11, 2008 - 1:24 AM
thank you so much for sharing and being so open...i have not legitimately worn a belt in probably close to ten years and have strong self worth and failure issues with my own weight, and when i met you i fell in LOVE with your belt, and i thought "fuck, if i can look half as hot as affinity..." thats when i contacted you about your belt...thanks for including me on this and sharing so much...you rock, sweetness!!

Armadillo.
Fri, April 11, 2008 - 7:14 AM
Thank You!Thankyou for sharing! I am so happy that you have your helathissues under control! Just before reading this, I was obsessing on how much weight I have gained. I really need to get it under control. Thank you for the inspiration!

party radar...
Fri, April 11, 2008 - 10:56 AM
i've actually never thought about your weight b/c when we're together your personality is all i see. i think it's wonderful that you've been bringing up taboo conversations in your blog. i like how we're free to talk about things now that 10 years ago were out of the question. and i'm also glad to learn more about you. good job on warding off the diabetes. i hope you stay healthy so you can live a long time.

glynda
Fri, April 11, 2008 - 12:35 PM
Yay!I'm so glad that your pre-diabetes is no more. I've heard you be vocal about it and that was one of the few time I've worried about you---because you were worried. Keep up the good work! I love that you are unapologetic about being big. I *love* that you wear the cutest outfits and that your definition of beauty includes all sizes. I think it's amazingly brave for you to post your weight-numbers in your blog--which is definitely my own headtrip! I haven't been on a scale in probably over 15 years---I have eating disorders and the only way that I can avoid being obsessed with numbers (scale, calories, etc) is to avoid them, all together. So, my weight is either a huge issue in my life or not an issue at all, if that makes sense. I choose not an issue at all. :-)

Capitan Paula..
Fri, April 11, 2008 - 4:14 PM
and yes, I love your cute outfits, keep'm comming!

Moze
Fri, April 11, 2008 - 11:48 PM
what a great blog you've written girl. I'm constantly amazed at you. It's hard losing weight, I've been stuck at 240, but I know most of it is due to drinking beer. I'm going to the gym at least 3 times a week now and I've also got glucose levels from fasting blood tests that border on pre diabetes. Yes, cutting out carbs is important. I'll tell you this. Even though I'm having problems getting my weight down, going to the Y and doing 30 minutes of stairs (broken into two 15 minutes each) and then doing a complete workout makes me feel stronger. Getting the heart rate above 120 for 15 minutes is evidently key. That and all the freaking drugs don't hurt either. Lipitor, Niaspam, Linosopril, Toprol. All cholesterol and heart related shit. But I've got to shed some pounds. I don't want to ride another ambulance off the playa this year. Our last roommate James weighed 400 plus and he's got all kinds of knee issues. Too much stress on the joints. below 300 is manageable and not something insurmountable without surgeries (my cousin was up to 370 and got that stomach surgery and he's down to like 220 now). Weight issues are a pain in the ass. I've got them too. But I've got a good body image and so do you. I'm not sure why you wrote this blog, but it's pretty damn cool to read, mostly because I know you and I just think it's cool to read what you've got to say. Man, it'd be nice if I could shed 40 lbs in 3 months and be all buff on the playa this year. Congrats on getting the glucose down. Be active and keep off the sugar. I started using splenda, you can eat all that you want. You need to keep taking care of yourself because health issues are real (I know after abusing myself almost to death) and the world would miss you so much if you weren't around. I know I would.

Rapu...
Sat, April 12, 2008 - 6:58 AM
Thank you for inspiring me to talk about the 'elephant in the room' with a dear friend of mine...

The Mangrove

We went to Reno last weekend on the train, home from Burning Man and then back up to Reno. We went for the Mangrove Opening, photos are over here.

http://blackrockarts.blogspot.com/2008/09/mangrove-opening.html

There was also a baloon event in Reno and the view out our hotel room was fabulous.

In the middle of the week, Ali Baba and I took her friend Nod from London to Burning Man Headquarters for a tour. Visiting luminary and all that. She had a great time.

We are home, today is our first morning home together since Late July. It is a delight.