Sunday, July 6, 2008

ALS & Friendship

Wed, March 15, 2006 - 12:40 PM

Last night I talked to one of my friends from Palm Springs, circa 1970, and she has ALS, she can barely talk, she cannot walk and has to have a caretaker. She has a year or 2 to live and then she will die of not being able to breathe. My straightest friend, a little redneck, good catholic, very generous to me after my divorce when $5 was an issue, she and her husband pick and tease each other and I have a lot of judgement about it so we have not seen each other much in the last 15 years. Saw her at 30th high school reunion 8 years ago. I am so sad. My other Palm Springs friend and college roomate died 7 years ago of heart failure, a stoner, BIG girl, brilliant, and a much tougher than I am.
The factors 100 year olds have in common: dealing with loss well, community, passion, activity.....
So, how do I deal with this. I am sad. I am grateful for my amazing life, right now in this moment, in the midst of moving, in the midst of remodeling next door, in the midst of my job changing. I love my life, I love my beloved and have amazing friends and no debt, I am so blessed....

I am about to go to lunch on the run with one of my most difficult friends. I will tell her how much I love her and am blessed to have her love in my life.... Why is it difficult, can't all friendships just be filled with love and RESPECT..... .

Wed, March 15, 2006 - 12:46 PM
You are so caring and kind to those around you, I know that these things are hard and don't feel good. However, I'm so touched that you are such a wise person to recognize how blessed we are to have what we do, and be surrouded by love. I love you.

Lying Bare
Wed, March 15, 2006 - 1:10 PM
Have I told YOU how important you are.... and how special you are..... and though we don't see each other often I look forward to your smile and hug..... Each person has a particular space they fill in our lives.... some easy.. some not so easy.... When Dan died some of our commune family that hadent seen each other in years ALL came together to celebrate Dan's Life and passing.... I dreaded seeing someof the more difficult "friends" but somehow in that place we ALL had one thing in common.... Our Love for Dan..... and all the Difficult stuff just didnt matter anymore... and now.... we are all in touch again.. some are STILL difficult... but the difference now is the realization that we are here to give Love and receive love, To Teach and to learn... and it makes the difficult ones easier to understand...... and to open up to.... embrace Life and Love..... and Learning and teaching. Mwahhhh!!!! You are truly a beautiful light in this world.. bare

Wed, March 15, 2006 - 2:20 PM
Jenni, Thanks, I love you too and wish we saw each other once in awhile. Would love to see you at a Spark Club some time. You are always a delight... For knowing me so little you are always so kind, I guess this is what blogging can look like and what an online community can be. THANK YOU PS. I am enjoying Brooke so much, what a pistol....

Wed, March 15, 2006 - 2:24 PM
Bare, Thank you too for your kindnessYou have become a beacon in the BM online community for sanity and caring. Thanks for your generous email. I always look forward to what you have to say.... I sent Dan's daughter a little money, hopefully it will help a little.

Thu, March 16, 2006 - 9:07 AM
No, it doesn't make sense. I'm all too familiar with losing people, and it's a rotten, painful inevitibility. You are a loving person and you too are very loved.
Ali Baba
Tue, March 21, 2006 - 10:20 PM
Owwie.Sorry to hear about that, and, yeah, I have a hard time understanding the picking and teasing type of couple, myself. Better, maybe, to know why you've spent less time with her, at least...some people seem to fall by the wayside, and perhaps they are some people that are just "for a season"...but it can still be sad. I'm young enough, and fortunate enough, to have not permanently [ie through death] lost friends, but from a family old enough that my father and all my grandparents have gone. Some of their siblings still live, though. Endurance, communtiy, passion...necessary to make it to 100, yes, but important in general, too. Probably big factors in why so many of us are drawn to you. You have a great mind and a big heart, and it shows. ;D Also, I still want to see your place[s]! If there is clutter, don't worry, I'm immune. ;P Love, Ali

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